When our expectations awaken to crude reality. Some thoughts towards approaching the universal experience of disappointment with an attitude of mastery.
First, solidarity, brother. I resonate with so much of your experience and I love how explicitly you are sharing it.
Second, this is a really terrific piece of analysis and a public service. There are people selling inferior versions of this wisdom for big money!
Among many things, the falling back on your systems is something I totally get now: well-established daily practices (in my case some blend of swimming/tai chi/yoga/walking each day) are a vital self-haven when shit hits the fan emotionally.
I would think that by bringing this level of awareness to your next work project (and may it come soon) you will shine.
Yes I think many people face difficult situations without the safety net of underlying systems, where the hitting the bottle or binging on junk food will provide temporary relief but ultimately prolong one's misery.
Yesterday I did 300 pushups followed by a 3 hour work and stuck to my no sugar, no junk food routines. The walk was interesting because instead of turning around and tracing my steps I searched for an alternative route home and found a new footpath that wasn't on the map. I've noticed there is value in the novelty of a new route - a fresh alertness in the mind as you pay more attention to things - your body thinks you're on a new adventure and seems to prepare itself for fresh surprises. It's a good way to change your mind.
I woke this morning in a slightly more optimistic mood.
I often find that it's small things that shift my mood, little reminders that we are in a living system (rather than the limited, fixed one that we seen when feeling down)
It's great to see you writing here again, John. I'm of course sorry to hear about your momentary crude reality. But I'm also with you 1,000% that disappointment is better than failure. Your last few paragraphs reminded me of an Alex Hormozi quote (or tweet or something) that Chris Williamson has shared many times on his Modern Wisdom podcast. "You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are." You've clearly got the real deal. Hang in there.
Yes I've heard that one. There's a book by composer Robert Fritz, 'The Path of Least Resistance' which has a similar take about affirmations which stresses that it is impossible to lie to ourselves - the only affirmation is doing the actual thing.
P.S. After commenting yesterday, I read more from Joseph L. Henderson's essay, "Ancient Myths and Modern Man" in the Carl Jung book Man and His Symbols. He made a point about hero myths and initiation rites (at all stages of life; not just youth) that, with your piece fresh on my mind, I couldn't help but link to your situation.
"There is one striking difference between the hero myth and the initiation rite. The typical hero figures exhaust their efforts in achieving the goal of their ambitions; in short, they become successful even if immediately afterward they are punished or killed for their [hubris]. In contrast to this, the novice for initiation is called upon to give up willful ambition and all desire and submit to the ordeal. He must be willing to experience this trial without hope of success. [...] Though the token of his ordeal may be mild [...] or agonizing [...], the purpose remains always the same: to create the symbolic mood of death from which may spring the symbolic mood of rebirth."
Submission to the ordeal, symbolic death and rebirth - that's inspiring. Thank you Brian - your interests in symbolism and the dedication to researching the topic must be very rewarding.
Thank you John for sharing your experience and words of wisdom. I would like to share this quote with you ... “What is meant for you will not pass you by. Trust your journey. Keep going. Everything you need will come to you at a perfect time.”
Just to add... I have experienced similar disappointment a few years ago. I believe if our thoughts, words and actions are aligned, we can manifest what we want.
Thank you for writing this John. A really good read and your ability to share and be vulnerable is an example we can all learn from.
Keep looking after yourself and know that the opportunity is around the corner.
Thank you Andy, I really appreciate that.
First, solidarity, brother. I resonate with so much of your experience and I love how explicitly you are sharing it.
Second, this is a really terrific piece of analysis and a public service. There are people selling inferior versions of this wisdom for big money!
Among many things, the falling back on your systems is something I totally get now: well-established daily practices (in my case some blend of swimming/tai chi/yoga/walking each day) are a vital self-haven when shit hits the fan emotionally.
I would think that by bringing this level of awareness to your next work project (and may it come soon) you will shine.
Thanks Johnnie...
Yes I think many people face difficult situations without the safety net of underlying systems, where the hitting the bottle or binging on junk food will provide temporary relief but ultimately prolong one's misery.
Yesterday I did 300 pushups followed by a 3 hour work and stuck to my no sugar, no junk food routines. The walk was interesting because instead of turning around and tracing my steps I searched for an alternative route home and found a new footpath that wasn't on the map. I've noticed there is value in the novelty of a new route - a fresh alertness in the mind as you pay more attention to things - your body thinks you're on a new adventure and seems to prepare itself for fresh surprises. It's a good way to change your mind.
I woke this morning in a slightly more optimistic mood.
I often find that it's small things that shift my mood, little reminders that we are in a living system (rather than the limited, fixed one that we seen when feeling down)
It's great to see you writing here again, John. I'm of course sorry to hear about your momentary crude reality. But I'm also with you 1,000% that disappointment is better than failure. Your last few paragraphs reminded me of an Alex Hormozi quote (or tweet or something) that Chris Williamson has shared many times on his Modern Wisdom podcast. "You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are." You've clearly got the real deal. Hang in there.
Yes I've heard that one. There's a book by composer Robert Fritz, 'The Path of Least Resistance' which has a similar take about affirmations which stresses that it is impossible to lie to ourselves - the only affirmation is doing the actual thing.
P.S. After commenting yesterday, I read more from Joseph L. Henderson's essay, "Ancient Myths and Modern Man" in the Carl Jung book Man and His Symbols. He made a point about hero myths and initiation rites (at all stages of life; not just youth) that, with your piece fresh on my mind, I couldn't help but link to your situation.
"There is one striking difference between the hero myth and the initiation rite. The typical hero figures exhaust their efforts in achieving the goal of their ambitions; in short, they become successful even if immediately afterward they are punished or killed for their [hubris]. In contrast to this, the novice for initiation is called upon to give up willful ambition and all desire and submit to the ordeal. He must be willing to experience this trial without hope of success. [...] Though the token of his ordeal may be mild [...] or agonizing [...], the purpose remains always the same: to create the symbolic mood of death from which may spring the symbolic mood of rebirth."
Here's to your imminent and springing rebirth.
Submission to the ordeal, symbolic death and rebirth - that's inspiring. Thank you Brian - your interests in symbolism and the dedication to researching the topic must be very rewarding.
Thank you John for sharing your experience and words of wisdom. I would like to share this quote with you ... “What is meant for you will not pass you by. Trust your journey. Keep going. Everything you need will come to you at a perfect time.”
Thanks Lisa.
Just to add... I have experienced similar disappointment a few years ago. I believe if our thoughts, words and actions are aligned, we can manifest what we want.
So sorry to hear this John :(
Your words capture perfectly the unease and pain I felt when in a similar situation last year. It really is a harsh landscape out there right now.
I will be keeping my eye out for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
Thanks James, I appreciate that