The Psychology Behind the Sneer
Understanding Reaction Formation
Someone sees you taking action to improve your health - cycling to work perhaps, or eating some nuts and seeds instead of joining the gang for the usual takeaway. But instead of supporting your efforts as you hoped, they sneer and make disparaging comments. Anyone looking to change their habits and take care of their health will likely encounter a certain level of animosity.
Your critic may secretly admire you, and feel a sense of uncomfortable inadequacy as they wish they too had the resolve to get in shape. They may bemoan “damn lycra-clad cyclists jumping red lights”, or refer to your lunch as “rabbit food” whilst proudly caressing their ‘bought and paid for’ beer belly.
Such a response could be a form of defence mechanism referred to as ‘reaction formation’ where we express our opposition to something in an exaggerated way when it is actually something we want for ourselves. By putting another person down with slurs and derogatory remarks we feel less uncomfortable about our own inadequacies.
“It even comes with a sinister uniform. Black shorts over black tights, a lemon-green shirt and a surveillance camera on your head. It’s like the Stasi never went away… In many major cities, you get the impression that half the people on bicycles are not actually going anywhere. They’re just pedalling around to annoy people who’ve worked hard and bought themselves a car.”
- Jeremy Clarkson, Anti-Cycling Journalist
Surrounding ourselves with a support network of people who genuinely have our interests at heart is a blessing. Alternatively, using the remarks to develop a “water off a duck’s back” mentality will serve your long-term resilience against snarky comments. We can remind ourselves that such words often say more about the speaker than they do about us. Public ridicule of others masks private shame and hides our internal struggles. A sharp tongue cuts deep, but a thick skin resists easily.
The next time someone mocks your “rabbit food,” remember they might secretly be searching for healthy salad recipes on their phone.
People in transition, they secretly desire the version of themselves in you but too attached to egos ways
Thank you for an uplifting read.
Navigating through the sneers and negative comments definitely requires the thick skin of resistance for sure. I often find others remarks have little effect these days, perhaps an age related thing, but I also find these petty sneers can spur me on even more and make me more determined.
It's great when we reached a point where others' remarks have little effect on us. Developing such resilience, whether it's through age, experience, or personal growth, is a valuable asset. It's quite empowering to use those ‘silly sneers’ as fuel to propel us forward, making us even more determined. I feel that recognising that these comments often stem from the speakers' own insecurities and inadequacies can provide clarity and motivation. By focusing on our own goals and harnessing that energy positively, we’re not only strengthening ourselves but also setting a powerful example for others. Even if they do sneer and say otherwise !